Things I Hate # 4 - Smart Phones

Being in the hi-tech industry, it may seem odd that this decade’s most triumphant new gadget technology should get on my tits. But the smart phone, in my opinion, is nothing more than the most insidiously obtrusive invention in human history.

The telephone itself was bad enough. People could suddenly reach you at all hours of the day or night, but ONLY if you were within reach of it. Then they invented the portable phone, so that all of humanity could bother you REGARDLESS of where you were or what you were doing. Now the smart phone allows instant, uninterrupted access, but in MULTIPLE FORMATS! In fact I can count 5 or more methods that people can use to bust my balls at any given moment.

You may argue that if I detest the smart phone so much, I should just turn mine off, or never get one in the first place. The problem with this, however, is that the technology has forced a seismic change to society itself. It is no longer socially acceptable NOT be reachable. It appears rude, aloof or even arrogant.

In fact in terms of manners, receiving smart phone calls is now considered the HIGHEST priority. How many times have you been having a conversation (face to face) with someone, only to be interrupted by a phone call!? The person receiving the call immediately pulls them self from your conversation to answer somebody else’s. And this is considered acceptable behaviour!

Things I Hate #3 - Craft Shows

I honestly think these things just spontaneously pop up in random locations, like viruses and skin growths.

Who's monitoring these people?

And why is a room full of stinky hippies, peddling what essentially amounts to 'junk', suddenly considered anything more than the shady, gypsy caravan it is?

Things I Hate #2 - Sports

Not all sports, just most.

I like the ones where it's just 2 guys, in a ring, beating the snot out of each other, or people doing normal human things, like running or jumping. There's something real about that; savagely natural. Mano a mano.

But I don't get those sports where people are chasing balls around, with sticks, or brooms or christ-knows-what; they just seem so arbitrary. Who cares that some dude is really good at bouncing a ball? Or sliding down a hill on a piece of wood. Or slapping a rubber puck with a stick of wood?

Then, on top of that, people manage to form deep, almost spiritual allegiances to random squads and teams, generally made up of individuals who have NO connection to the city or town they play in. That's just weird to me.

Things I Hate #1 - Middle Aged Women with Giant Purses

Yes that's right, I'm the one lining up behind you, coffee in hand, as you put your giant purse on the counter, rummage around in it, pull out your giant wallet, fish around in it for EXACT change, then pack it all back up again and swing the heaving mass over your bulbous shoulder. Get yourself a pocket, and put some god damned money in it!

Speaking of money, what happened to cash? How dare these sweaty, fat bastards pay for their greasy, egg sandwiches with a DEBIT card? Or VISA?? I have to admit that it's not hard to wind me up first thing in the morning, but this illustration of irresponsible daily living puts me at a new level.

And just when I though buying a coffee with VISA is bad, along comes the primordial Nona with the fist-full of coupons, NONE of which actually match any of the products on the counter. Are you trying to trick the cashier? What the hell is your motive!!??

Okay I change the name of this post to 'I hate lining up behind any other human being'.

My New Blog

I'm not a fan of blogs, or blogging or bloggers, but my friend Dave has a blog that I enjoy from time to time, so it got me thinking about starting one of my own.

Dave's blog is full of interesting, positive things in his life, things he likes, things he enjoys doing, expeditions he's been on and so forth.

Unfortunately there isn't a whole lot that I like in the world, or at least not enough to fill up a blog. Not that I'm an overly negative or miserable person, it's just that I take for granted the good things and only notice stuff that gets on my ass and winds me up to high heaven.

So to get my blog going I thought I'd start with a segment called 'Things I hate'.